Dear Friend,
Have you every wished you could go back in time and change something in your past? And I don’t mean an embarrassing moment, but a real, painful thing. Maybe it wasn’t even your fault.
I was nineteen when my great-grandma died.
I was working at a summer camp a couple hours from home at the time, so I couldn’t help take care of her when her health was going downhill. My boss let me go home for the funeral, which I’m so thankful for.
I was pretty close with my great-grandma, especially because my mom took us to see her a lot growing up. Every time we came over, she always had fresh homemade tortillas and either fidellos or frijoles that she’d heat over the bright blue flames of her gas stovetop. The kitchen was small so the table only had two chairs. My brother or I would sit on the step stool in the corner as we listened to the adults talk, some in English and some in Spanish.
When I became a teenager and I finally got my drivers license, I would still visit with my mom, but sometimes I would go on my own. There was even a couple weeks, when my great-grandma had a heart scare, where I stayed in her spare room to help her monitor her heart rate and blood pressure. We talked a lot about what she was learning in her Bible study, or she’d tell me stories about growing up as a migrant worker in Texas.
Still, as much time as I spent with her, I wish I visited her more. I wish I made more of an effort to learn Spanish, so I could speak with her in her native tongue.
And I wish I could have been there with my family the summer when she died.
Regrets are a funny thing.
Because most of the time, you can’t really do anything about them. You look at the past and you feel bad, and when someone asks what you would do if time travel were real you think, “That’s what I’d change.”
The only real thing you can do from things you regret is learn from any mistakes on your part and grow as a person.
There’s not much I can do about not being there when my great-grandma died. It wasn’t a circumstance I could control or have any say over. It’s a pointless thing to dwell on because if I do, I’ll just be sad and grumpy and miserable. It’s alright to grieve, but not forever.
What’s the point?
What got me thinking about my great-grandma and life regrets?
Funny thing you should ask. I just finished reading a book called Call It Consequences that my friend Alli Prince released this week (Congratulations Alli!). It’s a beautiful novel about grief and regrets and the death of loved ones.
Oh. And it’s a time travel novel that I actually enjoyed. I don’t really like time travelly books or movies (unless it’s played for comedy or it’s Doctor Who). I usually feel annoyed and slightly cheated by the end. But this book. This book was brilliant. It made me laugh. It made me cry. The prose was lovely and visceral. It was deeply thoughtful while keeping the stakes and action high.
Before I get carried away…
What would you do if your 12-year-old self showed up and told you that you had to travel back in time to save your dead mother’s life?
Lorraine’s mother died almost a decade ago, and her life has been spiraling out of control ever since. If it’s not the grief, or her aloof father who won’t give up his pointless time travel experiments, then it’s the mysterious man in black who always seems to be watching her.
Does that mean it’s up to Lorraine to fix everything? Lorraine’s an artist, not a mathematician. With only her unwitting boyfriend for help, how will she ever accomplish what her genius parents never could? More importantly, will she be able to keep it a secret from the strange government forces following her?
First of all…the cover is stunning. Second of all…the story is fantastic.
And if your thinking, “I hate scifi and time travel because they either overexplain and I stop caring about the story or they underexplain and I get lost,” don’t worry. This book has the perfect amount of explaining for an artist like Lorraine. Which is to say, there’s just enough to help you understand what’s going on without drowning you in details.
Call It Consequences is one of those books that makes you think. It reminded me that holding onto things of the past that I can’t control is pointless and can only hurt me and the people around me.
I can’t recommend this book enough.
What are you still doing here? Go get your own copy! (You can get it here.)
Sincerely,
R. J. Catlin
Loved your story R.J. Mine was missing my best friend’s wedding because I was stuck student teaching and they claimed I could not miss one day or risk having to do that again. Wasn’t an option to delay getting a job, but now I wish I had done it and begged for forgiveness.
I hope that you do not pile up any more of those regrets. It always has to do with people. One thought is if you do miss something, make sure you do something special for someone else while you miss it and know, you would not have gotten to do that had you gone.